Hi friends! Today I have invited a special Guest Writer, my friend Laurie Penoyer-Phillips to share a bit of her creative work with us! Here at Light The Path, we encourage creativity in all its forms as a tool for healing. This included writing and poetry. Laurie is an avid writer, gardener, photographer, and survivor and I know you will be inspired by her story and her work. You can find Laurie on Instagram: @thetwigandrocklady77 and Facebook: Laurie Penoyer-Phillips. All photographs were taken by Laurie.
The Invisible Woman
Most days, I feel like I am locked in a sound-proof box, kept in a cage…It is made of clear, unbreakable walls. I feel like a lizard or a fish kept in a tank…expected to live and thrive within these four, hard, unyielding corners. To be content with My imposed confinement, without interaction. Without meaning or purpose.
I can see the outside world from inside my box…but I cannot reach it. I am not permitted to touch it. It doesn’t see me. It doesn’t hear me. I may only observe and occupy my space, never interact. Never be free.
I am trapped inside my cage, pounding desperately on the walls, begging to be let out….but everyone keeps right on going, walking right past me. They don’t hear me. They don’t see me. They don’t care.
I am slowly suffocating….and no one comes to my rescue. I can’t breathe! I am dying. I am screaming at the top of lungs for someone to help me….but no one does. No one comes.
This box is slowly shrinking! The walls are closing in on me…It is crushing me! I am slowly being forced not to exist. Forced into silence. Forced to accept my fate. My voice fades.
The air is quite literally being sucked out of the box…my life, caught in a vacuum. Finally, to weak and helpless to go on pleading to survive, I just give up and let it go. Each breath laborious. Hope fading.
Finally, I collapse in the corner, alone, afraid, and weeping, resigned to wait for death to take me from my prison of suffering….It is my only hope of escape! I am condemned to die by apathy.
I stare through the glass at everyone else, still walking past….They go on with their lives, oblivious. They speak. They laugh. They love. They dream. They achieve. And I sit there, in my box, wishing I was anyone else, but me…anywhere else, but here. Wishing someone cared. Wishing someone heard. Wishing to be seen. Wasted, ignored, and deprived…Invisible.”
– Laurie Penoyer-Phillips
Hi, I am Laurie….Laurie Penoyer-Phillips, to make it official. I’m 44 yrs old, been married 22 years, & have a 14-going-on-30 yr old son…lol. We live in SE Pennsylvania. I LOVE the beach & I am an avid gardener! I was raised IFB (Independant Fundamental Baptist) & grew up in a lifeless, loveless church & family, with a narcissistic father & an enabling mother….It was a vicious system & cycle, living under the thumb of constant spiritual, verbal, & emotional, & sometimes, physical, abuse. It took a toll on my sense of self…a hefty one. I started writing in my teens, just to be able to speak my truth and face my dark realities, addressing my poems & journaling mainly to God….because defending myself wasn’t allowed in my home or church. “Put up & shut up,” being the norm. Writing helps me express my soul, my pain, my passion, & my hope for correcting the affects of the past on my present…& my son’s future. I hope my scribbles help open your heart & mind to raising your own voice. Speak your truth and those seeking the same will hear you.
Are you interested in being a Guest Writer for our blog? We welcome creative works such as art, mixed media, writing pieces, photography, and scrapbook layouts that tell a story of how you created a path out of the darkness and into the light. Contact us to submit today! We want to hear from you and know others will be inspired by your journey.